POETRY: "In My Heart" By Ashley Barron

“In My Heart”

By Ashley Barron

In the beginning-

when I was a different girl-

thought I knew

where it was that I belonged.

Hair ribbons and twangy guitar,

mournful love songs in Southern dialect

thought they were for me.

Tried to forge my identity

out of what everyone else

seemed to want me 

to be.

And then,

that day it came,

it hit me like a tidal wave;

there was no stopping this flood.

I finally discovered that tiny

light;

waiting

hidden

in the back of my consciousness 

for eons

or so it seemed.

And suddenly-- 

everything was clear.

In that initial torrent

of confusion

when I had my heart taken out

inspected

turned over and analyzed

and thrown away as false

I realized

how much I’d never needed it anyway.

Hearts just fill with

obligations,

expectations,

iron binds that tether wings

and leave you longing for the sky.

Now I’m free

that weight’s long been gone,

chest hollow, wings unpinned—

nobody owns my self.

I can burst forth from that sea

of self-induced conformity

with Nothing settled comfy on my shoulders.

This is me.